State-level Republican officials, having surrounded the nation’s cities on Election Day, say they plan to launch a follow-up campaign to liberate the cities once and for all from the liberals now holed up there.
Republicans stormed the nation’s capitol in late autumn with a blitzkrieg aerial assault based on the notion that local officials know better than out-of-touch Washington liberals. Now Republicans will mount a new campaign based on the notion that state officials know better than out-of-line city liberals.
The battle plan is for state legislatures to launch so-called pre-emption laws banning cities from passing their own laws. Early victories in the campaign include skirmishes in Michigan and Wisconsin, where heroic state legislators liberated plastic bags from local bans. Military observers say the only way Republicans can be outflanked is if the local, civilian populations of the besieged cities get off their fucking asses.