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Category: Wall Street

Wall Street Rallies on Obliviousness to Global Warnings Not to Rally
Wall Street

Wall Street Rallies on Obliviousness to Global Warnings Not to Rally

Posted on February 13, 2017 by The Fucking News

Wall Street hit record highs on Monday, rallying on news that Wall Street would ignore news from the rest of Earth. The Standard & Poor…

New Trump Officials Cleared of Giving Paid Speeches to Goldman Sachs, Their Former Employer
Economy

New Trump Officials Cleared of Giving Paid Speeches to Goldman Sachs, Their Former Employer

Posted on February 13, 2017 by The Fucking News

Goldman Sachs alum Steven Mnuchin reportedly has decided to appoint as top Treasury officials three people who have never been paid to give speeches to…

Top Trump Economic Adviser to Americans: Eat Shit and Die 
Wall Street

Top Trump Economic Adviser to Americans: Eat Shit and Die 

Posted on February 6, 2017 by The Fucking News

National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn on Friday explained that the Obama Administration’s fiduciary rule has to go, because forcing financial advisers to help their…

BFD

Nation Rejoices as Trump Launches Presidency with Bailout of MMIF

Posted on January 22, 2017 by The Fucking News

Raised Mortgage Rates ‘Just in Time,’ Say One Million Grateful Homeowners Pres. Donald Fucking Trump on Friday bailed out the federal Mutual Mortgage Insurance Fund,…

Oceans 3,499,999,992: Eclectic Group Learns Location of Stolen Funds, Plots Heist To Retrieve Them
Social Justice

Oceans 3,499,999,992: Eclectic Group Learns Location of Stolen Funds, Plots Heist To Retrieve Them

Posted on January 16, 2017January 16, 2017 by The Fucking News

The charity Oxfam reported Monday that eight individual men hold the same wealth as the poorest half of humanity, an estimated total of $532 billion.…

New Tipping Point Makes Wall Street ‘Worse Than Marxism,’ Says Wall Street
Regulation

New Tipping Point Makes Wall Street ‘Worse Than Marxism,’ Says Wall Street

Posted on January 12, 2017 by The Fucking News

Wall Street reached a tipping point last year that Wall Street analysts had warned would render the U.S. economy “worse than Marxism,” according to the…

Wall Street

Word of the Day – M&AGA

Posted on January 6, 2017 by The Fucking News

M&AGA em•and•ah•gah (acronym) An acronym and campaign slogan that stands for ‘Mergers and Acquisitions Get Approved;’ Often mistakenly read as ‘Make America Great Again,’ which mergers…

BFD

SPECIAL REPORT:  Trump Gets Played on Job Creation By the Corporate Big Boys

Posted on January 6, 2017 by The Fucking News

In someone else’s special report that we’re Very Special Reporting on, The Intercept yesterday revealed that the cornerstone of Pres.-elect Donald Fucking Trump’s entire job-creation…

Wall Street

Word of the Day – Manchin-Based Securities

Posted on January 5, 2017 by The Fucking News

Manchin-based securities man’•chihn-baysd sə•kyoo•rə•deez (noun) A complex financial instrument that derives its value from the function of how much everyone freaks out about bullshit Trump bullshit…

Regulation

Wall Street Bullish on K Street Senate Futures

Posted on January 4, 2017 by The Fucking News

Wall Street had an up day on soaring confidence in long-term futures outlooks for commodities such as Republican senators and a small index-traded fund that includes options…

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