White House Gasps in Horror at Realization That The Calls Are Coming…from INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE!

The Trump Adminisylum is cracking down to ensure there are no more leaks from anonymous sources inside the White House, according to leaks from anonymous sources inside the White House.

The report of the crackdown by Really White House Press Secremaybe Sean Spicer was published by Politico on Sunday at 11:55am, ten minutes after Spicer warned his staff not to leak information any more, especially about the 11:45am crackdown. An anonymous source close to Spicer said to The Fucking News on Sunday, “Sean’s really angry. He’s yelling at us about the leaks right now. Hold on, I’ll put it on speaker so you can hear. Pissed, right? So funny. Hey, did I already gave you his email password? Shit, hold on, the New York Times just texted me back. Gotta go!”

Other sources suggested that Spicer was giving individuals specific information to make leaks traceable after the fact. “Sean pulled only one person aside beforehand and told them that no one else knew he was going to do this and that they shouldn’t tell anyone,” according one unnamed source who heard Spicer’s remarks directly as a result of Spicer talking to him at the time.

Furthermore, Spicer also warned Really White House staff that they are violating federal record-keeping laws by using apps that delete their texts automatically, according to a text received by TFN that deleted automatically.

One Really White House source told Politico that Deputy Communications Director Jessica Ditto cried at a meeting in which Spicer criticized her work. Spicer then actually fucking told Politico that, “The only time Jessica recalls almost getting emotional is when we had to relay the information on the death of Chief Ryan Owens,” Almost.

Fortunately, she was spared from actually getting emotional when she remembered that who gives a shit about Chief Ryan Owens, because the Yemen raid was a success and anyone who says it wasn’t didn’t die as a result of it.

more: Politico