Friday
Another big work day for the president! Can you count how many of the six items on his public schedule involve the “work” of leaving, arriving, or eating?
10:25am — [Time to get to work!] Pres. Fucking Trump leaves Really White House
12:50pm — Pres. Fucking Trump arrives in Orlando, Florida
1:35pm — Pres. Fucking Trump meets with parents, teachers, and students at some school. [Kids, ask your parents what kind of fun stuff happens when an ADD president who’s shitty at national security visits a Florida school!]
3:20pm — Pres. Fucking Trump leaves Orlando, Florida. [Hey, y’know what else is in Florida? As long as we’re here, why don’t we just make a weekend out of it?]
4:05pm — [Quitting time!] Pres. Fucking Trump arrives in West Palm Beach, Florida, to begin his weekend at the Witless White House
7pm — Pres. Fucking Trump attends RNC dinner—meatloaf!
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)
