America’s veterans began to be treated with the care and respect they deserve yesterday morning, when Pres.-elect Donald Fucking Trump announced he would toss out the Obameaurocrats who go around knifing our wounded warriors in their sleep and replace these silent killers with a secretary of veterans affairs who is a military veteran from the private sector: Dr. David Shulkin, Obama’s undersecretary of health at the VA, who is a veteran of the Obameaurocracy and nothing else.
The announcement came 48 hours after Trump met with Shulkin, which is usually barely enough time to fill a prescription, let alone the position of head of the country’s largest health-care system, but what the hell, it’s not like Trump’s checking references.
As current head of the VA’s health care, Shulkin has overseen an increase in the VA’s use of private health care, but opposes privatizing it altogether.
As we and literally no one fucking else (note to self: Is that true?) previously reported, Trump promised that if he won, veterans could both choose private care and get care whenever and wherever they want it, meaning Trump will have to force private health care providers to open up in remote areas and in the middle of the night.
The announcement of Shulkin’s nomination immediately ended the crisis of extended wait times at the VA, as Republican lawmakers who once expressed grave concerns about veterans dying while waiting for appointments immediately flipped to the more common-sense position that just because someone has an upcoming appointment at the time that they die does not mean that the wait time was unreasonable and/or deadly.
By way of example, when we die, we’ll be on the waiting list for that week’s new issue of Batman at the local comic book shop. Batman, however, will not be responsible for our death. We assume.