Trump Hits ISIS With Full Force of American Marketing

Pres. Fucking Trump’s use of the phrase “radical Islamic extremism” has so far failed to end radical Islamic extremism around the world, so the Trump Adminisylum will intensify its counter-rhetorical efforts by applying the phrase to federal programs and not just its talking words.

The verbiage ramp-up will start with the Dept. of Homeland Security’s Countering Violent Extremism (CVE) program, which awards grants and works with community groups to address and mitigate the rise of radical ideologies that lead to violence. The program will now be renamed Countering Radical Islamic Extremism (CRIE).

Reached for comment, a spokesfuck for ISIS told The Fucking News, “This is what we’ve been afraid of all along. Now that an American government program is willing to call radical Islamic extremism what it is, we’re out of options. It’s time to lay our guns down and give up, I guess.”

He then added, “OR…we could use the name change to recruit more fucked-up people to our cause AND exploit the hostility and resentment this will cause among American Muslims that will make them less likely to cooperate with the federal government!”

The program will no longer attempt to counter the rise of neo-Naziism or white supremacy because that ship has sailed.

more: Reuters