Trump-Free Briefs

  • Arkansas plans to execute eight men in ten days next month, making it the only state in the U.S. to be Arkansas.
  • Temperatures in Antarctica have climbed to temperatures that broke a record that lasted for decades and will not be broken again until soon.
  • Federal law enforcement raided the headquarters of Caterpillar, but assured the public that any proven criminality will not be punished as if the executives were criminals or as if the company were a person.
  • French presidential candidate Marine Le Pen can now be prosecuted for posting images of ISIS executions, which is a fucked up thing to prosecute someone for, even if they are Marine Le Pen.
  • A transgender wrestler won a girls competition because he was not allowed into the boys competition because ostensible grownups are still wrestling with their own freakouts over boys and girls.
  • A new Disney movie will have the company’s first openly gay character since [insert your own, personally non-offensive punchline here].
  • More than 22,000 retired coal miners face a pension shortfall in less than two months if Congress doesn’t do something, which it doesn’t.