Six Quickies

  1. The Really White House signaled on Thursday that it is considering a reversal on Pres. Fucking Trump’s pledge not to crack down on marijuana users, in order to fulfill its pledge to fill America’s private prisons.
  2. The Air Force┬ásays it is unable to confirm Pres. Fucking Trump’s claim to have shaved $1 billion off the cost of new Air Force One jets, despite the fact the planes are literally called AIR FORCE One.
  3. After thinking hard about it for a couple of years, the House Republican chair of the Homeland Security Committee said it’s not like we need an actual wall.
  4. Fucking Trump’s staff reportedly violated procedure by communicating with the FBI to seek a statement saying that Fucking Trump’s staff didn’t violate procedure by communicating with the Russians.
  5. The Really White House has asked the Dept. of Homeland Security to cook up a report justifying its Muslim Ban and/or a war with Iraq. Kidding, Iraq is next year!
  6. The U.S. is experiencing a dramatic drop in international tourism, due primarily to a sudden lack of interest in visiting historic landmarks such as the Statue of Bigotry, the Washington Emolument, and Mount Douchemore.