Seven Quickies

  1. An undocumented immigrant in ICE custody was removed from the hospital where she was being treated for a brain tumor and taken back to a detention facility while ICE agents rounded up reasons to tell themselves something hasn’t gone horribly wrong in their lives.
  2. A 45-year-old man from one of Mexico’s most violent states killed himself at the border half an hour after he was deported from the U.S. for the third time¬† If you’ve got a joke for this one, let us know, because we might have an opening for a dark motherfucker.
  3. The U.S. Army is ending its child-care services for some military families because of Pres. Fucking Trump’s federal hiring freeze, heart freeze, and/or brain freeze.
  4. .A trade group representing a dozen automakers is asking new EPA chief Scott Pruitt to let them make cars that are less fuel-efficient than the ones Obama was going to let them make, not giving a shit that betting it all on gas-guzzling, high-priced, morally monstrous SUVs without thinking that gas prices just might rise in the future is what nearly killed them all just ten years ago.
  5. Remember how Fucking Trump’s corrupt idiot friends allegedly but not really can’t get loans? Well, it turns out average Americans are getting loans by the houseful and have driven home purchases up to their highest rate since just before that thing happened with the homes and the mortgages and the planet’s economy.
  6. Pres. Fucking Trump’s utter incompetence at governing is helping to slightly reduce his ability to implement his utter¬†insanity, leaving his agencies unable to hire the right evil fuckers to execute the GOP agenda.
  7. House Republicans want to delay their lawsuit attempting to block federal subsidies to health-insurance companies, now that ending those subsides wouldn’t also hurt Pres. Obama.