Predator vs. Aliens: Trump Expands List of Fictional Characters to Include Aliens

Dealing swiftly with fictional malefactors such as the undocumented immigrants not swarming our borders, illegal and/or dead voters, and the one million people who you couldn’t see at his inauguration because they were standing just out of the frame, Pres. Trump on Wednesday announced he will also get tough on “aliens.”

The new measures will include a weekly list of “aliens” who have committed crimes. The Fucking News has obtained a first draft of this week’s first list from one of the million fucking Trump Administration sources leaking like a porous border, and can report exclusively that it includes but is not limited to the following:

  • Ming the Merciless
  • Jabba the Hutt
  • Melania
  • Evil Spock
  • Alf