In Honor of Shitty New Education Secretary, Trump Declares 3 = 3.49

The Trump Adminisylum is bailing out health insurance companies by redistributing money to them from old people, a key part of the platform that led 53% of voters over 65 to support him.

ObamaCare rules had capped insurance rates for old people at no more than three times what the insurance companies charge millennials. Pres. Fucking Trump has now decided that insurers should be able to charge old people 3.49 times their lowest rates.

Rate changes are supposed to go through an extensive review process. However, sources told the Huffington Post that the adminisylum will argue that it is allowed to raise it to 3.49, because 3.49 “rounds down” to three. That’s not the joke part. NOT the joke part.

A Fucking Trump source told The Fucking News Tuesday night that the rate hike for those over 65 will not matter anyway, since 65 rounds up to dead.

That was the joke part. OR WAS IT?

more: HuffPo