GOP Rallies Around New ObamaCare Battle Cry: “LET’S NOT BE TOO HASTY!”

After only two days in session, the new Republican Congress is moving full-speed ahead to not get rid of ObamaCare any time soon.

At a closed-door session on Wednesday, one unnamed House member reportedly said, “You lose all leverage once you repeal this thing.” Long-time readers of The Fucking News may remember that ObamaCare opponents have spent the last eight years vowing not to lose all leverage.

The unnamed member explained later in an exclusive TFN hallucination, “We’ve had eight years to figure this out. Now it’s time to figure this out.”

Rep. Walter Jones (R-NC), one of the last remaining semi-sane House Republicans, said for reals, “You cannot repeal and not replace.” Beltway insiders tell TFN that, in legislative parlance, not repealing and not replacing is also known as keeping.

Among other Republican voices suggesting that America not liberate itself from socialist, death-panel tyranny TOO quickly, is the president fucking elect, who Tweeted Wednesday a warning to Republicans:

The media and much of the professional left went nuts, divertibly enough, over Trump’s desire to make Democrats pay a political price. Little attention was paid to Trump’s specific critique: That ObamaCare doesn’t cover enough people cheaply enough. Trump’s  focus on quantifiable metrics flies in the face of the congressional Republican preference for a free-market process…which may or may not lead to the Invisible Hand outcomes they swear it will with their Invisible Hand on the magic book of the Invisible Insurance Company CEO in the sky.


more: HuffPo