Five Quickies

  1. A federal judge on Thursday ruled Ohio’s execution method unconstitutional because it may cause “serious harm” prior to causing serious death.
  2. White House adviser and obedient son-in-law Jared Kushner has signed on to Trump’s One Person, Two Votes movement, having registered to vote in two states, along with Tiffany Trump, Tiffany Trump, Steve Bannon, Steve Bannon, Steve Mnuchin, and Steve Mnuchin.
  3. Pres. Fucking Trump reportedly is considering naming Newt Gingrich’s third or fourth wife, whatever, as his ambassador to the Vatican, which fucking loves third or fourth wives.
  4. The news that Callista Gingrich will be the voice of Trump to the man who’s the voice of Catholic God came just hours after everyone in charge at the State Department quit, freeing Trump to fill their positions with the many private-sector veterans out there who have years of experience running embassies.
  5. The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists has moved the so-called Doomsday Clock ahead 30 seconds, putting the Earth at 2½ minutes to midnight; midnight representing the worst-case scenario in which Mike Pence becomes president.