Endangered Species List Added to Endangered Species List

Congressional Republicans were wallowing in their own filth on Tuesday over how dismantling America’s environmental regulatory regime will leave leave us wallowing in our own filth, according to various reports. Already, various scenarios are being considered for how to gut the Environmental Protection Agency, sell its fat as lantern fuel, then toss the rest of its unused carcass in an upstream tributary to decompose and leach toxins into our water supply..

In an op-ed Tuesday, environmental committee Chairman Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY) signaled his intentions by lying in his very first paragraph, repeating a right-wing canard that a land-owner in his state was fined for digging a pond, when in fact he dammed a tributary that fed a navigable waterway.

Topping the list of changes under consideration is the extinction of the Endangered Species Act, which was signed by Pres. Nixon to save the American Bald Eagle, which as a result did not have its tenure cut short by corruption, unlike Nixon.

In a vain attempt to appeal to a vain president-elect to protect endangered species, some “scientist” type named a newly discovered species of yellow-headed moth Neopalpa donaldtrumpi, it was reported Tuesday. The moth was immediately scheduled for habitat deforestation.

Some actual fucking Republicans have suggested alternative ways of protecting endangered species, such as only adding new species once old ones have been bulldozed or Monsantoed into extinction, or only considering one species at a time for inclusion on the list because you don’t want to rush preservation of species.

One draft proposal obtained by The Fucking News from a sad little bird suggested refining the Endangered Species Act to cover additional endangered species, such as the Sap-Fleecing Real Estate Developer, and protect natural habitats such as soul-crushing strip malls and poorly planned, unwalkable, dehumanizing, aesthetically offensive gated communities.

more: TheHillWaPo