Eight Quickies

  1. Pres. Fucking Trump on Monday vowed to boost military spending–which would violate current law–not on anything in particular so much as just to sound cool.
  2. Rep. Jimmy Duncan, Jr. (R-TN) now uses a form letter to tell constituents he won’t do town halls to hear them because they’re all nuts and kooks and hippies.
  3. Allegedly free-market groups are trying to block a bipartisan bill that would allow the Postal Service to compete in the free market without having its hands tied by allegedly free-market groups.
  4. North Carolina may lose out on NCAA games if the state stands by its bathroom ban because something something balls.
  5. A new study suggests that Pres. Fucking Trump’s wall will not lead to more American jobs, leaving literally nothing left on his agenda that will.
  6. The U.S. military failed to disclose hundreds of sometimes deadly airstrikes conducted under former Pres. Obama, whom you’re still allowed to miss even though that’s really not good.
  7. Pres.Fucking Trump reportedly is considering Elliot Abrams for a top spot in the State Dept. apparently because Ollie Fucking North wasn’t available.
  8. Seven percent of Catholic priests have been accused of sexually abusing children in Australia, where priests go down on children counter-clockwise.