Delays Cause Two-Year Backup on the Road to the Trump Interstate Infrastructure Plan

Drivers trying to get onto the new roads and bridges Pres. Fucking Trump promised will be stuck on the entrance ramp for about two years, according to the latest traffic reports out of Washington.

Although the promise to spend a trillion dollars on new and repaired infrastructure helped drive Trump all the way to the Really White House, various construction projects, collisions, and other priorities cutting in front of infrastructure reportedly have slowed it down so much that now Republicans think it won’t be until the summer of 2018 until it gets off the entry ramp, let alone into the fast lane.

Among the problems: Construction delays on building the new tax plan that’s supposed to lower corporate taxes while also raising new border taxes; and the dramatic collision of ObamaCare repeal, which was traveling at a high rate of speed for the past seven years and trying to get into the passing lane, but suddenly jackknifed right into oncoming reality. At least 20 million passengers are expected to be released without treatment.

One entire lane has been backed up for ten months now, thanks to a slow-speed chase involving a stolen Supreme Court one-seater.