First Wall Street bankers rewrote the laws so they could buy and sell home mortgages on the open market just as easily and frequently as they buy and sell third-world child prostitutes on the black market. Then their mortgage crisis caused a global economic crisis, which drove home values into the dirt alongside their third-world child prostitutes. Then Wall Street bankers took all the money we gave them to stop the crisis and used it to buy our actual homes so they could turn us into renters in the homes we once owned, replacing individual Mom-and-Pop evil landlords with institutional motherfucking evil landlords.
NOW Wall Street bankers are foreclosing on American homeowners much more efficiently and frequently than Mom and Pop ever did, according to a new report from Bloomberg.
The average national foreclosure rate on homes owned by individual foreclosing scumbags is about 15%. Bloomberg, however, reports that some institutional Wall Street companies foreclose at rates of up to 30%. Tom Barrack—chairman of Trump’s inauguration committee—is the largest shareholder in a firm that forecloses on one third of its renters, more than anyone else.
In an interview The Fucking News would love to conduct with Tom Barrack Hussein Osama Mussolini von Fuckstick, he said, “If kicking one out of three Americans out of their homes is the only way I can make sure enough people have nowhere else to go that it looks like the inauguration is well-attended, I think that’s worth the price American families have to pay. To me.”
In a followup interview, all of Wall Street told The Fucking News that they are not total monsters, and they would never evict their new tenant from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.