Your Daily Fucking Planner – July 5, 2017

9:30am — TFN readers recall that The Fucking News is still on hiatus and realize today’s edition is just a one-time thing thanks to the holiday fought for by our forefathers…in the unions…who secured our freedoms
9:20am— TFN readers recall that it wasn’t as funny as they remembered it
3pm — Emergency U.N. meeting requested by the U.S. to discuss North Korea’s scariness (see Today’s BFD)
4:30pm — U.N. non-meeting to not discuss the trenchant-ness of the fact the U.S. celebrated its funding cuts to U.N. peacekeeping just a week before requesting an emergency U.N. peacekeeping talkmeeting
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)