Your Weekend Fucking Planner – March 3-5, 2017

Friday
Another big work day for the president! Can you count how many of the six items on his public schedule involve the “work” of leaving, arriving, or eating?
10:25am — 
[Time to get to work!] Pres. Fucking Trump leaves Really White House
12:50pm — Pres. Fucking Trump arrives in Orlando, Florida
1:35pm — Pres. Fucking Trump meets with parents, teachers, and students at some school. [Kids, ask your parents what kind of fun stuff happens when an ADD president who’s shitty at national security visits a Florida school!]
3:20pm — Pres. Fucking Trump leaves Orlando, Florida. [Hey, y’know what else is in Florida? As long as we’re here, why don’t we just make a weekend out of it?]
4:05pm — [Quitting time!] Pres. Fucking Trump arrives in West Palm Beach, Florida, to begin his weekend at the Witless White House
7pm — Pres. Fucking Trump attends RNC dinnermeatloaf!
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)