Nation’s Airwaves to Remain Unpolluted by News of Coming Environmental Cuts

The Trump Office of Mismanagement and Fudge-It is pushing steep cuts to the Environmental Rejection Agency that would gut its ability to protect our air, land, water, wildlife and fish like a fish. Specifically, a fish infused with selenium, mercury, and other carcinogens.

According to the Washington Post, a draft document that will never be edited to remove unwanted elements because that’s not a thing anymore, the OMB plan calls for getting rid of 20% of the EPA’s staff over the next year, and cutting grants to help state clean-air and water programs by 30%.

News of the devastating Trump Adminisylum proposal was found on TV in only trace amounts, thanks to sophisticated filtration systems that keep the nation’s airwaves free of substances such as substance. [To understand why, check out Indivertible: The Fucking News Guide for Fixing the Fucking News.]

The plan flies in the face of Trump’s pledge to WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT IT METAPHORICALLY FLIES IN THE FACE OF WHEN IT LITERALLY FLIES IN THE FACE OF YOU? WHY DO WE GIVE A SHIT WHETHER HE’LL METAPHORICALLY BLOWING SMOKE UP OUR ASS WHEN HE’LL LITERALLY BLOW SMOKE UP OUR ASS?

Although the cuts would limit government ability to keep toxic chemicals out of our water supply, the money saved would enable increased military spending to defend our nation against potential terrorism attacks such as chemical warfare against our water supply. The money saved by not protecting the environment will also ensure that the nation has a tiny down payment on hand for the future medical bills resulting from not spending the money saved.

Other ways Fucking Trump’s plan will Make America Grimy Again include ending federal cleanup of abandoned industrial sites and environmental funding for native Alaskan fishing villages. It also eliminates a climate-change plan initiates by Pres. Bush. The FIRST Pres. Bush.

The document also literally fucking says, “EPA is to evaluate ways to reduce federal enforcement inspections while keeping a consistent and effective enforcement program,” or, in Boolean terms, the EPA must evaluate ways to do X and -X.

On a generally bright but disconcerting note, EPA Administrator Scott Pruit–typically considered scum of the Earth for letting scum in the Earth–apparently may put up a fight for SOME of the EPA’s functions, saying, “What’s important for us is to educate OMB on what the priorities of the agency are, from water infrastructure to Superfund, providing some of those tangible benefits to our citizens.”

The OMB set a deadline of Friday for all agencies to provide alternative budgets–required not to exceed OMB’s budget numbers–and the OMB will meet on April 15 to discuss the first workforce-reduction proposals.

Any budget cuts ultimately must go through Congress, which will give a shit or not give a shit depending on whether people flood their phone lines and town halls with dirty, unfiltered, industrial-strength support for the EPA.

more: WaPo