Trump Budget To Do for America What He Did for His Businesses: Bankrupt It 

In a major speech by a major asshole Tuesday night, Pres. Fucking Trump will address a joint session of Congress to lay out details of the preliminary budget proposals he made on Monday, which would put America on the same path he has taken his businesses: Down a trailer-park shithole.

Fucking Trump’s plan calls for cutting $54 billion from agencies such as the State Department and the Environmental Protection Agency. Congressional Republicans Monday night said they were unhappy that the plan does not call for cutting Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security benefits, which they are hoping to present as a fun surprise to Trump’s voters.

However, military analysts say that cutting funds from the EPA will make it easier to defend America, since there would be less American land worth defending after more rivers and marshlands and nice places are Trumped into piles of toxic corporate detritus and vile, poisonous shit.

Additionally, gutting America’s diplomatic efforts would be made up for by spending $54 billion above current legal spending caps on the military, which will need the extra weaponry to handle the consequences of gutting diplomatic efforts.

News that Fucking Trump plans to cut domestic spending in order to expand the military came on the same day as reports of a new, draft plan for fighting ISIS that calls for increasing the number of American soldiers dying in Iraq and elsewhere in the Middle East. Historians will recall that spending trillions of dollars on military bullshit in the Middle East instead of on our own country is exactly what Fucking Trump campaigned on not doing back in 2016.

Fucking Trump’s plan to spend more money on guns also came on the same day that the U.S. military began another wave of cutbacks in services to America’s men and women in uniform due to Fucking Trump’s hiring freeze. The plan to emulate Pres. George W. Bush’s career arc in the Middle East also also came on the same day yet another Bush fatality was buried.

Air National Guard veteran Annie Muller served in Iraq–right next to burn pits spewing clouds of chemicals even more toxic and dangerous than the new Trump budget. Muller died one week ago of pancreatic cancer that she blamed on exposure to the burn pits.

Muller is survived by three children and a president dedicated to making their lives even shittier. She was 36 years old.

more: HuffPoReuters