Seven Quickies

  1. The draft proposal for the Trump Adminisylum’s plan to fight ISIS included input from Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, whose combat experience most recently includes all-out war with the boys in marketing over whether Exxon should keep using a tiger mascot.
  2. Pres. Fucking Trump reportedly signed off on his press secretary checking staffers’ phones to see if they were leaking shit to the press and on Friday’s decision to block some members of the press from a briefing, which they were able to find out about later thanks to staffers leaking shit to the press.
  3. Republicans are facing growing opposition to ObamaCare repeal from Republican governors, because once you give government benefits to Republican governors, it’s hard to end their dependence on big government.
  4. The newly efficient, private-sector-style Congress is already almost done investigating Pres. Fucking Trump’s Russia ties, as indicated by the fact that congressional leaders have already figured out the investigation’s conclusions.
  5. Pres. Fucking Trump said on Monday that nobody knew health care was complicated, adding that he is in touch with everyday Americans.
  6. The State Dept. Tweeted congratulations to an Oscar-winning Iranian and then deleted the Tweet and claimed it was given the wrong envelope.
  7. While the Justice Dept. of Attorney General Jeff Sessions is being rightly assailed for dropping the DOJ’s long-standing legal battle against Texas’ 2011 voter-ID law as intentionally discriminatory, the amazing fucking news about this was that Sessions is so far standing by the claim that the law is discriminatory in effect. So, like, that’s good, right? Yay!