The two groups were revealed in separate reports to have terrorist ties and sympathizers. The Dept. of Homeland Security, it was learned, had plotted a draft version of a study concluding that citizenship in the seven nations named in Pres. Fucking Trump’s Muslim Ban was an “unlikely indicator” of future terrorist activities.
Meanwhile, a double agent known as National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster reportedly told his staff that using the phrase “radical Islamic terrorism” is stupid and counter-productive, which is just what you would expect him to say as a double agent or as an informed, non-terrified grown-up.
National-security experts warn that if the federal government were to stop using the phrase, America would become vulnerable to better cooperation from majority-Islamic countries and additional intelligence from Islamic sources. Furthermore, The Fucking News has learned that the fact that the seven banned nations do not pose a threat to America is now considered a threat to the America that exists in Trump’s scared-little-boy mind.
Asked to comment on the report that he is a radical Islamic terrorist double agent, McMaster said, “I have no comment, other than that I really wanted the DNC at its elections this weekend to choose Keith Ellison, peace be upon him.”