The Threats to Trump’s Desire to Call Things Threats Are ALSO Coming from Inside the House!

The Really White House this weekend said it is formulating a strategy to respond to the new threats posed to the nation by the Dept. of Homeland Security and the National Security Council.

The two groups were revealed in separate reports to have terrorist ties and sympathizers. The Dept. of Homeland Security, it was learned, had plotted a draft version of a study concluding that citizenship in the seven nations named in Pres. Fucking Trump’s Muslim Ban was an “unlikely indicator” of future terrorist activities.

Meanwhile, a double agent known as National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster reportedly told his staff that using the phrase “radical Islamic terrorism” is stupid and counter-productive, which is just what you would expect him to say as a double agent or as an informed, non-terrified grown-up.

National-security experts warn that if the federal government were to stop using the phrase, America would become vulnerable to better cooperation from majority-Islamic countries and additional intelligence from Islamic sources. Furthermore, The Fucking News has learned that the fact that the seven banned nations do not pose a threat to America is now considered a threat to the America that exists in Trump’s scared-little-boy mind.

Asked to comment on the report that he is a radical Islamic terrorist double agent, McMaster said, “I have no comment, other than that I really wanted the DNC at its elections this weekend to choose Keith Ellison, peace be upon him.”

more: Guardian, AP