Trump Annexes Mexico To Serve as Deportation-Appeal Waiting Room

The Trump Adminisylum is preparing to become the world’s largest exporter of undocumented suspected immigrants, unveiling a plan to ship every human being found in the U.S. without proper identification to the country they came from. Or through. Or around.

It turns out everyone’s going to Mexico, regardless of their point of origin, to await their hearing there. News that Pres. Fucking Trump will give anyone without ID a free trip to Mexico led to massive bonfires Tuesday night of college students burning Social Security cards, driver’s licenses, and other forms of ID.

Dept. of Homeland Security agents will now be empowered to deport anyone they want to, regardless of whether those people have committed crimes outside the agent’s amygdala.