Your Daily Fucking Planner – Feb. 14, 2017

Your Daily Fucking Planner – Feb. 14, 2017
12:30pm — Pres. Donald Fucking Trump enjoys romantic Valentine’s Day lunch with Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
4pm — Pres. Fucking Trump enjoys romantic Valentine’s Day rendezvous with Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly and Attorney General Jeff Sessions
5pm — Pres. Fucking Trump sends Kellyanne Conway out to find a box of chocolates–no nuts–for Melania
8pm — Romance time
8:04pm — O’Reilly Factor
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)