Your Daily Fucking Planner – Feb. 13, 2017

9am — Pres. Fucking Trump receives daily intelligence briefing, featuring in-depth intel on questions such as who are the presidents of Nigeria and South Africa?
9:45am — Pres. Fucking Trump speaks with Muhammadu Buhari, president of Nigeria
10:10am — Pres. Fucking Trump speaks with Jacob Zuma, president of South Africa
11am — Pres. Fucking Trump meets with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, daring onlookers to explain how they are of the same species
11am — Senate gives back Washington to the people by confirming as Treasury secretary a Wall Street banker who took back homes of the people.
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)