A Weekend in the Life of Muslim-Ban Pushback

  • After one line of an article was cited on TV, Pres. Fucking Trump Tweeted it, not realizing the article took a collosal dump on him.
  • Sears and Kmart dumped Trump, because the Trump brand no longer reflects the standards of taste and class exemplified by Sears and Kmart.
  • Pres. Fucking Trump dumped his plans for a U.K. trip and rescheduled it, in order to avoid getting snubbed by Parliament, the way American presidents so never do.
  • A federal judge dumped all over Fucking Trump’s argument that America should be terrified because terrorists want us to be terrified of people who aren’t terrorists.
  • A dumpster full of lawsuits—20, to be specific—have been filed since the stay was ordered the previous Friday.
  • A Canadian got turned away at the border after getting dumped in the Muslim bin.
  • Crowdfunding is being used to help a dumptruck full of stranded refugees.
  • More of the New England Patriots are dumping plans to show up at the Really White House.
  • A shortage of Muslims may leave rural areas without enough doctors to treat complaints such as, “It hurts when I take a dump.”
  • Under Armour took a dump on the ban.
  • Superheroes took a dump on the ban.
  • A school thdumpbed its nose at grant money over the ban.
  • A new poll found the ban is disapproved even by Iowa’s country dumpkins.