Six Quickies

  1. Some black players on the New England Patriots will not be attending the White House to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, due to being New England patriots who celebrate our Civil War victory.
  2. The Army said Tuesday that Dakota Access Pipeline construction can resume without another environmental review because everyone already knows what it can do to the environment.
  3. Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) said Tuesday that Republicans have not begun to discuss how to replace the ObamaCare plan they have been discussing replacing for seven years.
  4. Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) released a letter Tuesday quoting Wall Street firms as saying they don’t need Pres. Fucking Trump to let financial advisers steal from their clients, because they’d have figured out a way to do it anyway.
  5. Republican senators voted overnight to prevent Sen. Warren from speaking on the floor because her reading of Coretta Scott King’s letter opposing an early nomination of Jeff Sessions disrupted the decorum of the Senate as it tried to go about its dignified, orderly business of disrupting the country.
  6. Sen. Warren informed the Senate that if you strike her down, she shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.