Your Weekend Fucking Planner – Feb. 3-5

Friday
8:30am —
Labor Dept. releases last monthly jobless figures reflecting hiring during Obama’s term, and last monthly jobless figures that won’t be hilariously skewed to get us to 25 million in ten years
Sunday
6:30pm —
 The Super Bowl happens with some rich dudes playing football to see who can best avoid chronic traumatic encephalopathy
(all times EDT because fuck the Heartland)