Pentagon Returns Fire After Trump Claims First Blood

The Pentagon on Thursday fired back at Pres. Fucking Trump, just days after Trump claimed his first American military fatality, Chief Petty Officer William “Ryan” Owens, in a raid in Yemen.

Positioning themselves behind fortified anonymity, unnamed military officials sniped to Reuters on Thursday that the weekend raid was authorized by Fucking Trump without adequate preparation or intelligence, much like the Trump presidency itself.

Owens was killed during the raid, along with an unknown number of civilian women and children, including an eight-year-old American girl, Trump’s first individual civilian casualty before he moves into the wholesale business by repealing ObamaCare.

“I don’t know how the hell this happened,” one Trump Adminisylum official would never tell The Fucking News. “I mean, we’ve got the best and brightest minds from Wall Street and Hollywood on the National Security Council.”

Three military officials outflanked Trump on Thursday, all of them tossing to Reuters the bombshell accusation that Trump ambushed the SEAL team by sending them unwittingly into landmines, snipers, and more armed resistance than expected.

With Trump already wounded by that accusation, one of the officials crept up and stuck the knife in, telling Reuters that on-the-ground surveillance beforehand was, “minimal, at best.”

The Obama Administration had held off on the raid, the official said, because, “The decision was made…to leave it to the incoming administration, partly in the hope that more and better intelligence could be collected.”

Trump’s next of kin could not immediately be reached for comment, as she fled the battlefield before the first shot was even fired and hasn’t been seen since.

more: Reuters