Five Quickies

  1. Pres. Donald Fucking Trump on Saturday signed an executive order directing the Pentagon to come up with a plan to defeat ISIS so that no one will learn the details of his secret real plan to defeat ISIS that he campaigned on.
  2. Pres. Donald Fucking Trump on Saturday signed an executive order banning lobbying by administration officials after they leave office, and not a second before.
  3. Several states are considering passing bills that challenge Darwin’s theory of species¬†evolution through natural selection, after the bills evolved from previous species of creationism and were naturally selected for legislative consideration due to their superior ability to survive legal challenges.
  4. Most of Kmart’s 800 stores are cutting costs in the Trump economy by secretly firing people.
  5. Pres. Donald Fucking Trump’s executive order cutting off federal funds to sanctuary cities has a Constitutional hole in it big enough to drive a truck through carrying day laborers from the parking lot just outside Lowe’s.